This chapter is weighed down in detail. If you have to split your chapter up into sections, then that is an indication that it is too long and boring. Chapters should flow seamlessly, so that the mere thought of breaking them up is unthinkable.
Amarie stood on the shore of the Sapphire Lake, the wind whispering nature's secrets through the leaves of the surrounding aspens. She pushed back a stray strand of auburn hair, a basket of herbs in the crook of her elbow. The surface of the deep blue lake looked like rippled glass. Sapphire Lake was a place of serenity where Amarie could collect her thoughts like spilled marbles. The meditation was a necessity to keep her senses sharp and to keep herself alive.
It isn't that these sentences are bad, it simply doesn't seem like the right way to start a story. This is a reflective scene, what you need is something with a little more action. More show, less tell.
As of late the thoughts that seemed to be taking about the most space in her brain were those of her parents. Amarie felt more like they were donations than actual parents. Her father had never really wanted her, he made it perfectly clear that his affections were reserved for his son. Since that son was never provided Amarie learned how to hunt, swordsmanship, and other skills to impress him. He gave her his auburn hair and discipline but never the affection and acceptance she really craved.
Her mother seemed like a frail woman, soft spoken and physically petite. But living with Amarie's father for so long had hardened her heart and her defense had become sorcery. She secretly showed Amarie which herbs would heal and which ones could kill. She taught Amarie the skills of a mindbender and was the one that honed Amarie's senses to match those of a High Elf. And in the end she entrusted Amarie with her bitterness for all men.
Then at the age of fifteen her mother finally had her vegence and killed both her father and herself. Being an orphan had suited Amarie just fine. She roamed the wild land of Tarasova, increasing her skill as a Ranger and a Sorceress. But now, here in the land of Chevara where she had settled temporarily she wondered what her parents would think of her presently. Would her father have ever accepted her? Did her mother truly care that Amarie master the skills she taught her or had all of their lessons been to spite her father?
Ugh, a monologue about how cruel her step-father is and how her mother is the only one who cares about her. Why the heck do we need to hear about this, when it is far more interesting to see it?
Also, her mother was fifteen when she killed her father? You mean that Amarie was 15 when her mother killed her father. Vengeance is also mis-spelled.
Also, I'm beginning to see signs that you have a perfect character.
1. She's an orphan. Not only does this provide cheap drama for the character, but it also means that the character has no reason not to go on a quest.
2. She is proficient with knives, swords, and bows and arrows. Never mind that swords are expensive and that she's spent most of her time alone. She learned it from her father, who, despite being cold-hearted and un-caring, still decided to put the significant time and energy into training a girl how to fight like a man. Also keep in mind that most common peasants weren't able to afford a sword, much less how to wield a sword properly.
3. She knows magic. Her mother taught her herbs in secret, despite the fact that there is no reason for their properties to be a secret. It would be important for the girl to know what herbs to pick for healing (since she would be gathering them) and it would also be important for the girl to know which herbs were poisonous (so she wouldn't pick them by mistake.) She also taught her how to be a mindbender, apparently she was skilled enough that she could be as good as high-elves, despite the fact that her mother has no special background as a sorceress. Indeed, for all we know she has as much expertise in magic as her husband.
4. Since she is a successful warrior woman who was taught by her angry mother, then she must hate all men. Nevermind that she craves her father's acceptance and that it was her mother that went berserk and killed her father. Despite having no bad encounters with men, she still is bitter towards them.
So, the character doesn't seem realistic and the story starts off on the wrong foot. More action, less monologue. More show, less tell.
Points: 2090
Reviews: 863
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